Tag Archives: Family

Confidence

I admire people who are perennially self-assured. These individuals never appear to suffer from self-doubt. No matter what obstacles or hardships they encounter, they never waiver on how they will attain their goals. I am certain that these folks share commonalities that include thorough preparation, as well as a consistent, positive, mental attitude.

Success in my life, whether it be scholastic, athletic or professional, is always been supported by an unquestioned belief in myself.  Regrettably, my personal dichotomy is also true; individual failure always accompanies perplexing uncertainty. For no-good-reason, I allow negative outside forces to impact the way I perform. At times, the mental toughness necessary to withstand the rigors of life, seemingly disappears. I cannot predict why or when it will happen, but the end result is not ideal.

My oldest son is a fantastic person, student and athlete.  Beyond being a kind, empathetic kid, he works very hard to accomplish his ambitious objectives.  I appreciate his optimistic attitude, as well as his intensely competitive demeanor. Unfortunately, my son is proving to be a mere mortal, as he has been negatively impacted by outside forces. Prior to making his U.S. Development Academy soccer team, Ty’s belief in himself was never higher.  He played every game with focus and ferocity. More talented players never influenced his performance, as he was protected by an unquestioned belief in his ability to succeed. Despite selecting Ty among a sea of talented players, his current coach does not believe in him.  We are not sure when or why the coach dismissed him, but the effect has been obvious. Outside of his current erratic play, the weight of the coach’s disdain has become a burden that extends beyond the pitch.  Ty’s personality has changed to the point that the ongoing predicament has affected his spirit. He is now challenged by the need to remain confident in his skill-set despite the specter of the coach in the back of his mind.

My wife and I know that Ty will overcome this challenge, as it is simply a part of life’s vicissitudes. He will need to believe in himself without any reinforcement or adulation from the coach. The next nine months will test his mind as well has his heart. Ty needs to continue to work hard, and manufacture personal victories with minor achievements. He must separate the happenings on the soccer field from the rest of his life. We will provide Ty guidance and support, but it will be up to him to be resilient in order to withstand this unexplainable test. We have tremendous faith in his ability to navigate through this hardship and ultimately succeed.

  • “All confidence is acquired, developed.  No one is born with confidence.” – David J. Schwartz
  • “We are what we believe we are” – C.S. Lewis
  • “Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” – Jack Nicklaus
  • “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
  • “One  important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe
  • “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford

Advice

Ty and Jesse,

I have learned valuable life lessons during my time on earth.  Many times those teachings have come at a personal price.  As I close in on my 50th birthday, I want to provide you guidance.  It should be expected that you will experience disappointment, frustration and anger during your lives.  My objective is to provide you the perspective of a seasoned human who happens to be your dad.

  • Love one another and remain good friends.
  • Work hard. The most successful people are generally the hardest workers.
  • Be humble. You will have successes in life. Recognize the help that you have received.
  • Own and operate a business. Cut your own path in life.
  • Don’t put yourself in a situation that will be hard to recover from.
  • Be respectful. Specifically, of women and authority.
  • Be empathetic. Never sit in judgement of others.
  • Always do your best. If you commit to something, do what it takes to be successful.
  • Never let the fear of failure undermine what you want to accomplish.
  • Beware of who you trust. Most people have good intentions.
  • Let people earn your friendship. Once they have done so, remain loyal.
  • Take a breath before you make a decision. Analysis does not always equate to paralysis.
  • Take it slow with the ladies. This will be hard but it is necessary.
  • When you financially make it, pretend like you haven’t.
  • Adequately prepare yourself for anything you deem important.
  • Never be afraid to ask for help.
  • Choose the right mentors.
  • Be disciplined in your life pursuits. There are many distractions.  Ignore the noise.
  • Apologize when you are wrong.
  • Help people who cannot help themselves.
  • Be charitable but cautious with your money.
  • Say, “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” when appropriate.
  • Don’t idolize anyone.
  • Learn something new every day.
  • Don’t let your emotions dictate how you perform.
  • Take the time to enjoy what the world offers. Life moves fast.
  • Move around or through your adversaries.
  • Always believe in yourself and never quit.
Jesse (9) and Ty (11)
Jesse (9) and Ty (11)