Tag Archives: Focus

Learn From This Mistake

As parents, we want our children to successfully navigate life’s vicissitudes. Throughout our lives, we faced many challenges that could have been avoided if we had both perspective as well as direction. Some of these tests set us back and undermine our ability to succeed. We’re told that rigors that we endure help define our character through our resiliency and determination. While I agree with that in theory, my core objective will always center around offering my sons guidance that helps them evade pain, penalties or worse. As with most teenagers, they disregard much of what I preach. They’re typical young adults who believe that my messaging is either irrelevant or antiquated. To that point, I am going to offer them my experienced wisdom in an indelible form factor. Perhaps they will read and revisit this as they evolve as men.

Risk – I have always feared failure. Perhaps it’s the potential embarrassment of failing that causes me such anxiety. It could also be that I never wanted to confront my own limitations. Either way, this unfortunate reality has, to date, damaged my ability to achieve some of my personal goals. My advice to my sons is to take calculated gambles early in your lives. Your personal overhead is low, and your financial responsibilities are minimal. Believe in your acquired skills, as well as in your willingness to work. Do what is necessary to make informed decisions. Ignore the cynics as many times they’re simply projecting their own insecurities. Own your choices and learn from the results. Persevere through challenges because almost anything can be overcome.

Emotion – Many times in my life I reacted viscerally to tumultuous situations. Once I was able to attain a perspective, and even if I was right, I regretted my initial reaction as it put me in an ineffective position. My advice is to breathe before responding during contentious circumstances. Clear your mind and remove the personal component associated with heated interactions. Once you do this, you can respond smartly and with composure. This will allow you to effectively handle difficult moments without remorse.

Confidence – Belief in oneself is critical for success in life. Self-worth creates a superhero-like shield. For me, faith in my own abilities is sometimes influenced by others. This predicament is suboptimal and will only lead to personal disappointment. My advice is to never let other opinions dictate your disposition or mindset. Know that you have abilities to be resolute in your convictions. Don’t listen to the noise around you once you have made up your mind to achieve a specific goal.

Grind – Maximum effort usually delivers ideal results. Preparation along with attention to detail ensures that the odds of success are in your favor. My advice is that you take on any important endeavor with passion and grit. Do all the things that most will not do so you increase your chances of achieving your goals. There is a level of personal satisfaction that accompanies winning after expending the maximum amount of energy on a stated task.

Focus – Distractions are routine for all of us. Unfortunately, these diversions undermine our ability to achieve our objectives. My advice is that you ensure that you dedicate 100% of your attention to any job that you have committed to accomplish. Don’t waste time and energy on superfluous diversions. Finish those activities that you are responsible for delivering.  

Friendship – I have been fortunate to create dynamic and profound relationships in my life. My most coveted bonds evolved over time. Trust and honesty are the core principles of these alliances. My advice is that you allow relationships to be earned by those that you deem worthy of your devotion. Be patient and cautious with the individuals that you welcome into your inner circle. A mutual and unbreakable loyalty will occur with those that eventually qualify as a lifelong ally.

Work – Making money while remaining happy with how you create your income represents a real conundrum for most of us. As you age, the financial responsibilities grow, and accountable people must settle for roles that allow them to earn a wage commensurate to their lifestyle.  My advice is that you get over-educated and develop those unique skills that can be utilized throughout your career. If there is a field that piques your interest, volunteer to work for an organization that supports that specific career path. Ask to be mentored by people who are successful in the specific field that interests you. Getting up every day enthused, excited, and impassioned are what all professionals strive to achieve.

Love – It’s hard to protect your heart when you share your innermost feelings with someone. Unfortunately, real devotion can only happen if you take an emotional risk. While it doesn’t feel good to get burned, it’s important to wade through the temporary pain to eventually find the right person to spend the rest of your life with. My advice is that you never compromise. Remain patient until you absolutely know that the person that you ask to be your wife is as committed to you as you are to her.

Persistency – Rejection, defeat and failure are unfortunate facts of life. If you’re determined to succeed, however, strong-minded people usually end up overcoming whatever challenges they’re confronting. My advice is that you write down whatever goals you are committing to accomplishing. If you write down your objectives, it’s difficult to procrastinate or ignore the process. Expect that setbacks will happen, but that they will not thwart your mission. Be relentless and undeterred in your approach and great things will happen.

Grace – Mistakes are a part of life. As you get older, errors keep you up at night.  Unfortunately, self-flagellation accompanies personal blunders.  My advice is that you give yourself a break and recognize that you will get other opportunities to shine. Be self-aware and recognize the specific failure points. Commit to not allowing past breakdowns the opportunity to endure beyond their expiration date. The only way to successfully move forward is to end the personal beatdown, and to recommit to never allowing the error to happen again. Finally, offer the same leniency to others that deserve it. Life is complicated for everyone, so empathy is required.

Ty and Jesse, you both are smart, savvy, and intrepid young men. You’ve proven that you are both mentally tough, having endured demanding, stressful predicaments at a young age. I’ve never witnessed either one of you back down from a challenge, and you both demonstrate resolve when it is required. Your character is unshakable, and that attribute cannot be taken away from either of you.

To Choke or not to Choke….That is the Question

left frontal lobe(red) and corpus callosum, di...
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You often hear the phrase when relating to sports; an athlete that fails to deliver in the clutch, analysts (Johnny Miller comes to mind) usually say they “choked”.  Defined further, to “choke” is when someone poorly responds to external pressure.  They do something completely contrary to what they would have done without the weight of the moment.  Preparation usually combats the choking reflex; usually.

There is no situation that puts you to in a better position to choke or excel, than golf.  Standing alone over a little white ball brings all sorts of peculiar emotions to the surface.  The subconscious begins to play tricks on the here and now.  You try desperately to recall positive shots of the recent past, yet negative sensations linger.  The golfer desperately combats fear, uncertainty and doubt with confidence, calmness and routine.  Many times however, one bad shot or two seems to trump all of the great swings of the recent past.  Back to back bad shots seemingly erase past success.  You become a victim of the present situation instead of moving beyond the past.

Yesterday, I watched Dustin Johnson choke away the 2010 U.S. Open.  After a Saturday round that saw Johnson dominate a brutally difficult golf course, he subsequently melted under the white-hot spotlight that shines brightly on the leaders during the final round.  One bad shot seemingly changed his demeanor, and unfortunately lead to more horrendous shots.  Johnson let negative emotions overwhelm him, and dominate his mind.

I just returned from a four day member/guest golf tournament in Michigan that saw me collapse under the pressure of the final day.  Coming into the tournament I was somewhat confident in my swing.  It has been a grueling twelve months of lessons and practice to try find a tempo and swing plane that works.  Lately, I had hit good shots under tournament pressure, so I felt optimistic in what would transpire.  As the days rolled forward my swing started to dissolve.  Drives that would stay in the fairway on day one, drifted to the rough on day two.  By day three and four, those 245 yard drives went out-of-bounds or ended up in treacherous lies.  Truthfully, and somewhat ironically, I actually felt composed over shots….not nervous or ill prepared.  Unfortunately my results (an 89 on day three and a 90 on day four) were emblematic of my poor execution.  Worse yet, I managed to make three doubles and a par on the way into the clubhouse; moving us from first to fourth place (out of the money). 

In my opinion, the only way to overcome the choking reflex is to get back into the heat of the moment and risk failing again.  This is not a comfortable position as thoughts of past failures will most certainly seep into the frontal lobe.  Unfortunately, this is the only way to truly appreciate the sensation of success. 

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The Unrelenting Dilemma of a Nine Handicap

The relentless quest of a manageable, confident golf swing has me perplexed and frustrated right now (as well as pissed off).  The one thing all passionate golfers have in common is the desire to constantly get better.  Practice, unfortunately is not the key to unbridled success…..unless of course what you’re practicing contradicts the thing that forced you to practice in the first place.  It seems that once you “fix” one part of your game, something else breaks.   Last spring, without anything I consciously did, I became one with my game.  Honestly I was hitting the ball 10% farther, while lowering my handicap to a six; it was heaven!   My brush with golf greatness lasted until late June as my game turned ugly, resulting in my handicap soaring to a 9 (mathematically almost impossible to do in 4 months).  A deep golf depression set in as I have yet to work it out. 

Here is the current, maddening issue that I am desperately trying to repair.

  • After completing a semi-hideous backswing, my right elbow detaches from my body, and points towards left field (classic chicken-wing), never to make contact with my right rib again.
  • As I awkwardly return to the ball, my best fly fishing technique takes over and fractures every angle earned during the prior motion.
  • The end result is a forced hand flip at the ball that miraculously gets the Pro V1 airborne.
  • Distance and accuracy are obviously compromised, but it is the consistency that has me vexed. 

I have searched for answers over the last 6 months.  Here is what I have found:

Golf Magazines                        

  • Most of the lessons/tips provided are difficult to understand.  When you do understand the guidance, generally the “move” opposes something from an article from a prior magazine.
  • Magazines shill for their advertisers – the equipment manufacturers.  When they tell me that after a custom fitting, an 18 handicap can now hit his tee ball 30 yards further, I feel like vomiting.

Training Aids  

  • I own every golf training aid produced over the last 15 years (if you do not believe me check my basement).
  • Some have merit…..most just become a short-term paycheck for a washed up tour player/swing guru.
  • I do not remember one training aid having a profound impact on my game….not one?

Your PGA Professional

  • How does the same swing issue result in differing root causes from 10 different instructors?  I demonstrate the same unappealing swing to all of these guys, and each one tells me something different is wrong.
  • Recently, I succumbed to a GolfTEC advertisement, and went in for a consultation ($99).  The instructor was pleasant, candid and insightful –then the lesson ended and the sales pitch began.  He told me that it would take “between 10 and 20 ½ hour lessons in order to fix my swing.” Of course those happened to be the premier instruction packages GolfTEC sells.   After multiple calls, I purchased the 10 pack – I will let you know the results over the next two months.

Equipment

  • Yes, I will spend thousands on a game in disrepair.  That said, I now realize that anything new from TaylorMade, Callaway, Titleist, Ping etc. only pacifies me until ball contact.  At that point I realize that my reverse Jim Furyk is still solidly intact.   

My dreams about playing in a state amateur event are fading by the day.  I can only hope my persistency pays off so I do not embarrass myself in the two member/guests I play in every year. 

More to come as the season pushes forward. 

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